Since November (hence Prematurity Awareness Month) is at an end, I wanted to highlight a twitter party that focused on a very difficult topic to discuss: Losing a Baby (need more info on twitter parties? Read our blog: There’s No Party like a Twitter Party). This party was hosted by the 3 Green Angels and sponsored by Earth Mama Angel Baby who just launched their new Healing Hearts Baby Loss Comfort website. First Candle also joined the party to provide information for moms and dads who have suffered loss through miscarriages, stillbirths and other types of neonatal loss.
Many parents joined us for this discussion and shared their heartbreaking stories. What strength it took for them to discuss their loss. I wanted to go through my computer screen and hug each one of them. Most of these mommies (and daddies, too) were so grateful to have a place to talk about their feelings and learn resources available to them.
Here’s what we learned:
Statistics of miscarriage/stillbirths:
* 1/3 of pregnancies end in loss. Read this article in the New York Times: Study Finds 31% Rate of Miscarriage.
* The March of Dimes suggests that between 20 and 50 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage/stillborn.
* There are about 26,000 stillbirths in the United States annually.
* A baby is stillborn in about 1 in 200 pregnancies
Miscarriage vs. Stillbirth info:
* What is miscarriage? The spontaneous end to a pregnancy occurring before 20 weeks gestation. To learn more about possible causes, the chances of having, the types, symptoms, tests and treatment of miscarriages, visit the American Pregnancy Association and this New York Times article: Miscarriage.
* Stillbirth occurs while the baby is still in the womb and after 20th week gestation. Earth Mama’s Stillbirth Facts and First Candle’s When a Baby has Died are great resources to learn more.
* Starting at 28 weeks gestation, begin monitoring your baby’s health by counting your baby’s kicks. Record your baby’s kicks on First Candle’s Kick Counts brochure.
It’s always hard to find the right words or know what to do when someone you know has suffered a loss. Here are some great suggestions:
* Earth Mama Angel Baby’s: What Do I Say? (Also included is what not to say)
* First Candle’s: Do’s & Don’ts
* Want to give a gift? Check out these touching Healing Hearts Gifts and E-cards from Earth Mama Angel Baby.
Where can you go to find support and help you through your grief?
* Earth Mama’s Grief Resources Page
* First Candle’s Local Support Group
* National Stillbirth Society
* First Candle’s Surviving Stillbirth Brochure
* First Candle’s Surviving Stillbirth for Fathers Brochure
* Dads Coping with loss from Baby Center
* Talk with other parents who have lost a baby in Earth Mama’s Healing Hearts Community.
They’re gone, but not forgotten:
* Share a story, poem or prayer/blessing at Healing Hearts Remembering Baby Page.
* Light a candle at First Candle’s Reflections page.
As a NICU nurse, I have dealt with the loss of a baby one too many times. It’s never easy and finding the right words to console grieving parents can be very difficult. Nothing I say is going to bring their baby back or heal their shattered hearts. That’s why these resources are so important to provide support to these parents and help guide family, friends and healthcare professionals when dealing with this difficult topic.
I want to thank Melinda Olson, founder of Earth Mama Angel Baby LLC., for her dedication to comforting mamas in their darkest hours; First Candle for all of their work to raise awareness and improve infant mortality and to the March of Dimes for their continued research in improving the health of babies and reducing prematurity, birth defects and mortality. Also, thanks to the 3 Green Angels for helping make these parties possible.
Want to join us for a party? Look for the hashtags #ecowed for a variety of parties. Want to go to a party together? Join me on Facebook and Twitter to see where I’ll be. Tweet you there 
!
Babies 411 – Babies Are Our Business
Babies 411 is an on-line information and resource center for parents. This site has been developed by a neonatal intensive care nurse with the sole purpose of promoting the health, safety, an well-being of all babies.
Author : Diba Tillery RN, BSN, IBCLC, CPST
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